work`s been good. i get to wear almost anyting i wan (except competitor brands) and i`m enjoying my work. it`s rather simple actually.. data entry, admin, all the HR stuff.. a lil boring.. but i like it. it helps to take my mind off tings. lik really off everything. i get so busy tat i don tink of anyting. only my work and wat i ned to do for the day. i`m focused. which is VERY GOOD. i`m happy at work. the people there are rather friendly. so i`m smiling like all day. =)))

there was recruitment drive the past few days, so i`ve been playing receptionist. it was quite alrite. i get to read cleo and her world to pass time. (my boss sed i could. she told me to do it actually. HAHA.) wooo. i love it. they`ve got a reading corner, magazines too. like the latest ones. haha. ^_^ aiya but tmr onwards i`m gonna be very busy la. so no time to read mag liao. zzzz.. nvm i shall work hard and mayb i`ll get to convert to perm staff and i`ll be able to get staff discount!! haha. oh and the guys there are not bad looking. jus a lil old for me. T_T oh well. mayb older guys are more mature. sighs

anyway, as i was saying, my mind is occupied from 9-6. but after i step out of office, i snap back into reality. the same ting happens everyday. i tink of the same stuff over and over again and then i can`t sleep at night and when i finally do, i get nightmares. it`s a routine now. it`s not funny. it`s become so real and scary tat i can feel myself almost crying in my sleep. and the best ting is tat i can`t do shit abt it. how can i control my dreams. it`s easy for people to say they`re jus dreams. it wont come true. but it`s so real to me. i get so damn fed up with myself for not being able to let go. i wish i could jus erase everything from my memory and start afresh.

forget it. u wont understand unless u dream wat i dream.

my brother`s not back yet. i haven seen him for more than a month already i tink. i lost count. and i`ve been rather happy (not cos i don see him, but i don hafta see his gf!!! =))) eh i miss him ok. ya luff at me. watever. and jus as i was tinking of him jus now, his gf came over. so i tink he`s coming home later tonite. damn. she`s got a new look btw. she permed her hair and she dressed super japo la. my sis jus did her hair today too. both of them look the same now. =.=''' in the past both were crazy abt rebonding and keeping their hair straight. and today both came baq wif permed hair. lik !??!!!! asdfghjkl.

...

Hold me close,

let Your love surround me

Bring me near, draw me to Your side

And as i wait, i`ll rise up like the eagle

And i will soar with You

Your Spirit leads me on

in the power of Your love

thank you sophie for praying for me yest. i needed that.